So You Think You Can Drag?

The next post in my series of drag competition is choosing a talent. I could give you a long ass post about how to do it to get points and how to conceptualize a talent from beginning to end (and maybe this post will be just that) but right now I want to start with something that people are afraid to say.

In order to win talent, you must have talent.

But what is talent, when 99% of the time everyone is lipsyncing? Is it dancing? Props? Costuming?

No.

 It can be those things but talent is actually something that you hear a lot. Talent is realness. Do I believe the story you are telling me with your selection?

I have noticed a pervasive attitude of what is a "winning talent". They get the right costumes, props, song, concept, dancers, and hit the stage.

And my reaction is...

If I don't buy the story you are telling, I will reward your effort but I cannot in good conscience reward you for an inability to  tell a story. It can't happen.

So what are some tips for picking a talent that you can use?

I love this image because you can see that there are steps and it is a process that keeps going around. You can always change it, always work on it.

1. Plan

• Who is the telling the story?
• What does this story say about YOU?
• If you choose to do something someone else has done, how are you going to tell this story differently?
• If everything fell apart  2 minutes before you went on stage, could you tell this story with just you?
• DO NOT MOVE ON UNTIL YOU HAVE ANSWERS TO ALL THESE QUESTIONS

2. Source

• Listen to the song over and over. Know it breath by breath
• make notes in your phone, on a piece of paper, wherever you can about every idea you have.
• get in touch with the person who does your mixes, choreography and costumes. Ask about their schedule. Or ask around if you want to try someone else.
• Make, schedule and KEEP appointments with people that you hire. Get a calendar.
• Make a list of who you talked to, what days and any quotes they have given you. Treat this like a business and keep meticulous records. You pay for services and this is YOUR business. You are the boss. Act like one.
• DO NOT MOVE ON UNTIL YOU HAVE  STARTED TAKING THIS JOURNEY SERIOUSLY

3. Develop

• This is the fun part. Every one wants to skip everything at the beginning and go right to this. But if you don't know how to get here, how will you execute this idea?
• Inform dancers, prop makers, EVERYONE THAT IS WORKING WITH YOU, about the story you are trying to tell. Get that notebook out and TAKE NOTES. Listen to their concerns about how to pull it off. 
• Be flexible. Adjust if you need to, it won't kill you to not have Cirque De So Gay in your talent.
• DO NOT BE AFRAID TO ASK. If you cannot see their vision, ask them to skecth it, find you a picture. They may think of something you haven't and it could be to your benefit.
• Pay on time. If you want your things delivered on time and to your satisfaction, grant them the same courtesy.
• Check in with them. Don't be annoying but a text message that says "How are things coming along?" or "Are there any issues I should be worried about?" is appropriate. 
• DO NOT MOVE ON UNTIL YOU HAVE ALL YOUR DUCKS IN A ROW

4. Retain

• practice
• practice
• get with the venue and get the stage dimensions. tape it off in a parking lot
• practice
• ask someone to come and watch it. Tell them the story you INTENDED to tell and then AFTER they see it, ask them if the story was consistent
• adjust
• practice
• adjust 
• practice
• practice
• ask someone different to come and watch it.
• adjust
• practice
• be consistent with your feedback to your team. Always be gracious for their help but do not be afraid to raise the bar.
• IF YOU HAVE PRACTICED LESS THAN 5 TIMES, YOU ARE NOT READY. PERIOD. 
• IF YOU HAVE NOT PRACTICED AT LEAST 3 TIMES THE DAY OF THE PAGEANT, YOU ARE NOT READY.

Congratulations! You are at the pageant! I hope you have a great experience. Because as you know we are all 

The Interview Curse

Interview is my favorite category to judge. I am a people person and I can tell as soon as someone walks in by their demeanor and bio if we can make a connection.

There really are not a lot of questions that you can ask in 7 minutes. Most judges get 1-2 questions. 

Why do you want to be Miss Gay blankety blank?

Why did you choose this system?

Who has been your biggest influence?

How will you manage your duties if you win?

What does it mean to you to be an symbol of excellence?

I am goimg to let you in a little secret. These questions get asked over and over again for the following reasons.

1. We want to know where you are in your comeptition journey
2. if we ask you all the same question, we have a better idea of who can articulate their dreams and their goals
3. We are able to see how you are able to communicate about the system
4. We want to know that you are responsible
5. We want to know who your influences are because I can tell if you are doing YOUR drag or their drag.

An interview category is a conversation. It is a group of people trying to decide that if someone asks you a question about the system or promoter, YOU CAN ANSWER THE QUESTION.

IF YOU CANNOT ANSWER THE QUESTIONS WE ASK YOU, YOU CANNOT ANSWER QUESTIONS ABOUT THE DAMN SYSTEM.

If you do not know how to snake a drain, do  you apply for a job as a plumber? No. That makes no sense. You might be the best entertainer in the whole world but people do not always remember your death drops but they will remember something nice that you said to them. YOU MUST BE ABLE TO COMMUNICATE. Why, as a promoter, would I invest tons of money for you to go to  the next level if every time I see you in person or on social media, you cannot put a sentence together. I don't care about a missing comma but I shouldn't have to call someone and ask them what you saying. 

I often am asked to help people with interview but I have to tell you, I want to cry when people ask me about that. I cannot help you learn to communicate. I just can't. Put down your text messages, turn to the person next to you and play 20 questions. Rewire your brain to listen to questions and answer them concisely and move on. 

Stop worrying about right answers and start worrying about BEING ABLE TO ANSWER.

WHERE DID ALL THE CONTESTANTS GO?

I realize that it has been some time since I decided to talk drag and pageants and and I thought, it was time to get people thinking about things. I spent the day talking about drag and in particular, competition/pageant drag and I have been thinking about the atmosphere of pageants in the state of Oklahoma.

I feel I need to add this disclaimer:

THIS IS MY OPINION. I DO NOT CARE IF YOU AGREE WITH ME.

However, after years of observing and participating in this community, I do feel qualified to at LEAST offer my opinion.

No matter the system, it seems that promoters are saying over and over again that they cannot get people to compete. City prelims get 2 contestants. Bar owners are disappointed because no one wants to go to a pageant that is being played out on social media. If you want to know what is going on, friend the right people and pics and videos will flood your feed. You can wear your Hello Kitty pj's and root for your girl and never leave the Candy Crush comfort of your home.

Just wait! The judges will weigh in too and so will everyone else! You can get all the gossip by 4AM. You didn't pay a dime, you saw the gown and the WHY DID SHE DO THAT MIX FOR TALENT WHEN SHE KNOWS THIS IS NOT USOFA????

Wait a few hours and you will wake up to the post of gratitude from the winner with 40 hashtags that make no sense.

Then as the season goes along, everyone starts to hedge bets on the winner, and camps become divided. People get pissed. There is one winner and a handful of losers and then the barrage of "SHADE", "MESS", "NEVER GOING BACK" starts. Wait two weeks because then there will be a host of "I really want to accomplish my dreams" posts.

All of this immediate notoriety and "celebrity" happens in front of all of us, it gives the wrong kind of attention, it reinforces the idea that showing up and showing out gets attention and deserves reward.

I am not going to condone this anymore. Not because I am over drag but because I am over the idea that affirming an attitude of entitlement is better than rewarding hard work. I LOVE MY COMMUNITY.

Promoters, if you want to know where your contestants are, ask your reigning titleholder. What have they done to encourage YOUR pageant, what has the state titleholder done? Have they explained the system? Have they prepared them for the categories? Do they understand the expectations? What is stopping them from competing? What are the misconceptions they have?

SHAME ON US.

Shame on us for not holding EVERYONE to a higher standard.

Shame on us for encouraging substandard competition and a fundamental lack of understanding of the systems.

We have diluted the talent pool. Not by having too many pageants but by accepting less than the best as our representatives. By revering rhinestones and not talent.